Freedom Speech by Tiamari

Everyone seems to be in jail –- we just don’t all get sympathy.

I am in jail most definitely. I can’'t do what I want, whenever I want to. I can'’t even say what I want to say– not to my family, my friends, my man, and certainly not to the brats I am looking after. And I can’'t tell the college staff what idiots they gave me to lecture to, and where they can stick them….

I need power.

I need to have lots of money and the power to do and say what I want, which won’t necessarily be something bad always.

I am a soft touch. But I feel un-regarded, unrewarded, unappreciated, compromised, frustrated, jailed.

The only way for me to be free would be to break out of semi-poverty and employment. I need to do my own thing.

Why isn'’t it happening yet? The business I chose could be a good idea, or a bad idea… but the problem is… after more than 2 years I am still “fiddling” instead of going full-on.

It’s like I am holding back.

Maybe I am scared of failure.

Well, not maybe. I AM scared of failure. I am scared that I might find out it was a bad idea, and then I’d be stuck with no idea at all. And then I might loose all hope of ever braking out, like a prisoner who is scared of using the tunnel he burrowed, in case it doesn’t lead to freedom, but ends up in another cell instead. Nothing bad will happen, but he would have to start all over again. So instead of getting into the tunnel, he simply puts it off always waiting for the perfect day…

(written by Tiamari) 2006